A few weeks back, we decided to gather up our old coats for the annual Coats for Kids drive. We hauled out last year’s adorable blue coat… (shown here with supersized dog butt for scale)
And the super sweet brown coat
How could my babies be too big for these coats now? After drying my tears, I explained how some kids don’t have a coat to keep them warm in the winter. We looked at pictures from last year’s snow and talked about how nice it was to have a toasty warm coat. Then we bagged up our donations and headed for the drop-off site.
In the car, I hear baby girl sniffle a bit, and then launch into full-on sobs. She’s usually the last one to throw a fit about anything, so I was immediately worried. “Honey, why are you crying? What’s wrong? Did you pinch your finger in the buckle again?”
No words. Just. More. Sobbing.
I pull over to check on her, and she finally breaks through the tears to explain: “But, Mama, I want to be warm this wintertime too. I don’t want to give away my coat.”
Ah, another Mother of the Year moment. Guess I should’ve explained that we’d be getting new coats that fit. Poor thing tried to suck it up the whole time, thinking she would freeze this winter. Oh, the guilt!
After several minutes of reassuring her that she won’t shiver all winter, we made it to the drop-off site.
This photo doesn’t capture the Epic. Meltdown. that ensued when Nolan realized we had to leave the donation site without the awesome hot wheels police car they so kindly displayed in the front of the store. Good thing the other one was exhausted from her morning of worrying about freezing to death this winter and waited patiently while I carried her kicking and screaming brother to the car. Ain’t giving grand?
A year of giving, 9 months of giving … who’s keeping track? Not YOU, I hope! We have been a bit distracted this summer. A few pictures to recap and I hope to be back with more projects next week.
Helping Grandma recover from knee replacement surgery
Watering the Hexter Elementary garden
We took Mommy & Me ballet classes
... and swimming lessons
Got one potty trained
And one in a big kid bed
Most importantly, we watched Grandpa go from ICU to almost-home. Even this Unitarian thinks she might’ve seen a miracle this summer.
A new man!
He’s got the little baby birdies in his hands
I’ve written here before about how much I love serendipity. And, for some reason, the opportunities for giving that fall into our laps seem to be the projects that stick with the kids the most. A few weeks ago, the kids were spending the night at Grandma’s house (a treat that we’ve lucked into VERY frequently lately!). When I took them up on Friday evening, Grandma pointed out the mama dove who took up residence in her hanging basket. In the past, Grandma hasn’t been terribly excited about birds nesting on her porch, but after a few years of threatening to expose her as a Bird Nazi to her grandchildren, she’s softened up quite a bit. She was telling us about the dove’s complete devotion to her babies — even sheltering them through crazy hail storms. I must be crazy myself, because I think Grandma actually liked this bird and (maybe, possibly) even welcomed her to the patio. It was all very sweet. I got to point out Mama Bird to my baby birds. Science! Nature! Peace! Love! But by the next morning, it all went terribly wrong.
On my way to pick them up, Grandpa called to “prepare” me for the murder scene. Apparently, during the night our sweet Nickelodeon nature show went all National Geographic. Someone dined on sweet Mama Dove. The evidence was everywhere. The kids were confused. I think Grandma might have shed a tear. And there were two tiny baby birds left shivering in their nests. (Ok, maybe not shivering, but you get the idea.) What to do? I started googling “How to save baby birds.” Turns out, it’s more complicated and time consuming than baby people. I couldn’t help but picture the kids becoming attached and then our sweet but clumsy 120-pound dog stepping on them, or me failing to get up in the night to feed them (Every. Two. Hours.). This could go so wrong. Then, thanks to the miracle of the iPhone, I found a bird sanctuary just south of Dallas. I called. They answered! On a Saturday! And said they’d be happy to take the baby doves! So, we made a little box for them, loaded two birds and two toddlers into the car, and headed to the sanctuary.
I don’t know if it’s because they saw the situation unfold, or because they are getting older, but the kids seemed to totally understand our mission. They kept asking about the birds as we drove, and weeks later, they still ask. Now every time we sing “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands” (they go to school at a Baptist church), Nolan sings “He’s got the little baby birdies in his hands…” Does it get any cuter than that?
The sanctuary has all sorts of rescued birds roaming around. Nolan got to chase a turkey (we made a donation to offset that escapade). Ultimately, the experience made an impact on them that seems to be sticking. So, I’m sorry for Mama Bird (and poor Papa Bird who came around looking for his family the next day), but at least we were able to turn a sad situation into a giving experience. Now, if only we could look at bugs without a certain someone stomping them into extinction…
I think thoughts that are thoughty
Kids have a talent for making you think. Which is funny because their constant chatter often prevents me from having a complete thought (or conversation). But after bed time (when I am usually too tired for conversing), I think thoughts. Often, my thoughts come in Suess-speak rhyme, but they are thoughts no less. On those rare occasions when we have the quiet and energy to talk, the hubs and I have even compared notes on our thoughts. Turns out those kids (and a little church) is making both of us think about big picture concepts like Living our Values, which is a fancy way of saying that we don’t want our kids to think we are total hyprocrites. At least not yet. That will come by age 13 no matter what we do.
Anyway, all this thinking/conversing led us to sign up a few months ago with a local veggie co-op. I’d been interested in joining one for years but never made the committment. This spring we jumped in and bought an annual share in a local organic farm. It’s a little risky because everyone pays upfront and enjoys the bounty or absorbs the failure. But so far, so good. The growing season finally began a couple of weeks ago, and we’ve been getting a huge cooler of fresh, organic produce each Saturday. We share with friends who live close to us, so we trade off weekly trips to the pick-up site. Planning meals around the veggies and adjusting to eating what’s in season has been a bit of a challenge, but mostly fun so far.
The kids are excited about it.
And I’m excited about it! It feels good to tell the kids that we get our vegetables from a farmer. A farmer they can meet! No pesticides. No semi truck hauling our food from a warehouse in California. Supporting a local business and eating healthy food — thanks to those kids for making us think.
On missions and nonsense
Lately, I’ve been trying to teach the kiddos to pick up after themselves a bit. They’re 2. To say it’s not going well would be a huge understatement. To be fair, my adorable kiddos did not get the gene for cleanliness, at least not directly. Sure, there’s that grandma neatnik, but she’s not a daily example (ahem, especially since she’s been cavorting off to Hawaii and to see those other grandchildren so much lately). Poor baby girl and baby boy have their parents as cleanliness role models. And, just like their parents, they don’t like their fun to be interrupted with nonsense like picking up toys. However, since every toy they don’t pick up must be picked up by Mama at the end of the day, I’m on a mission to save myself from cleaning up teach them how to be responsible citizens!
We extended the clean-up theme to help out in our neigborhood, picking up trash at the park. Apparently, picking up other people’s trash is way more exciting than picking up their own toys. They were enthusiastic helpers!
Maybe just a bit too enthusiastic (yes, that’s a rock)…
And a stick…
We had to bathe in sanitizer after this project, and we found some “trash” that Mama had to use a stick to pick up and throw away, but all-in-all, I think it was a success. After naps, we’re heading to Target to stock up on more sanitizer.
Some days, they give me the lesson in giving
Today we went to the Arboretum. Lilly walked next to the stroller, doing a great job of staying with us (with some regular reminders and a few near-misses from the old folks’ golf cart). She stopped a lot to admire the flowers, which for Lilly means gently wrapping her arms around them and giving them a kiss. When we came to the huge hill that bottoms out at the lake, Nolan so, so wanted to run down that hill. I had misgivings. But, hey, life is short. I sprung him from the stroller and let him go. He ran fast, with total, exuberant abandon. When he fell, it was one of those toppling, head-over-heels falls. It had to take his breath away. He got up onto his knees for a bit. I ran toward him and waited for the cry. But before I could get there, he was up and running again. With absolutely no misgivings. Just the same wild abandon. Freedom! Speed! It was a beautiful moment with my beautiful child. Oh sure, it all ended with him getting seriously muddy in the pit at the bottom of the hill; refusing to leave; me carrying a screaming toddler to the stroller. But even as the spectator, I’d say it was all worth that glorious run.
I read a blog tonight by a Mom who’s diagnosed herself as a “pre-mourner.” Wasting time being sad about the days gone by while missing the days still there. She ended her post by saying that what she’s really mourning is her failure to live in the moment. This makes all the sense in the world to me.
I’ll remember today for those shining moments: flower kissing and flying down the hill like a kite. Some days, the 2-year-olds give me the lesson in giving.
Putting some food in the bank
We’ve been working on our little projects here and there, but between my work and our crazy life (also, a bit of laziness most likely), I haven’t gotten around to blogging much at all lately.
The big news is that a couple of weeks ago we received our adopted grandparent assignment. I excitedly phoned her up! She lives in our neighborhood, within walking distance. Hooray! … Except, things haven’t gone quite as planned. First of all, she’s not at all interested in terribly excited about kids. Secondly, she doesn’t really need much help because she has a cook who shops for her and a housekeeper who also drives for her. Oh, and a gardener. Also, turns out that her first two volunteers quit. So, we haven’t done much with that so far. I’ve had a few (looooong) chats with her on the phone and we are planning to drop by for a visit in the next week or so. I’ll keep you posted, but I’m thinking a re-assignment may be in the works. Also, we need someone who has the patience of the Dalai Lama enjoys being around kids.
The latest giving project that we worked on was donating to the food pantry at the kids’ school. My big idea was to look through the grocery store ads to choose food for “people who are hungry.” The kids were excited about this project and eagerly fought over flipped through the ads choosing foods. I should have been prepared for the foods they chose: Blueberries, strawberries, bananas, cheese, cucumbers. All of their favorites, of course. Yet, all lovely perishable items that you can’t drop off at most food banks. Sad reminder that poor kids don’t get much fresh, healthy food. All this was a little much to explain to two 2-year-olds, so I let them choose and choose until finally they spotted peanut butter and granola bars. We went to the store and they helped put each item in our cart. Baby girl even insisted on giving “those kids” some of her favorite goldfish crackers. Success! Thinking they were psyched up for this mission, back in the car, I said “Do you want to go by school to drop off the food now or go home?” In stereo: “Go home!” I don’t want to be the Mommie Dearest of Giving, so home we went.
A few days later, we made it to their school to put everything in the collection baskets…
I think our little projects are making an impression. Driving down the road the other day, some guy cut me off. I yelled. I probably used expletives. Both kids asked, “What happened, Mommy?” I explained, “That man doesn’t know how to drive!” Baby girl replied, “We need to help him, Mommy. We help him drive.” Ahem. Score one for Baby Girl.
Next up, finding a way to help get fresh produce to people who can’t afford it. Watch out community gardens, we may be headed your way …
Stickers-on-the-floor-a-palooza
Ah, Valentine’s Day. A time for romance… flowers… candy… and painting with toddlers?? Yep, for the week’s project, we decided to make valentines to hand out at the old folks home. We made a few for our nearest and dearest while we were at it. All in all, we made a LOT of valentines. We made them All. Week. Long. I don’t necessarily recommend mixing toddler art with a PMS-ing Mama and (yet another) ice day, but watching the kids hand out their handmade treasures at the nursing home was pretty sweet.
A few pictures of art time before it devolved into stickers-on-the-floor-a-palooza:
This project was easier to explain to the kids than some. They loved making the cards for their grandparents, of course, and then we’d make one for someone “who doesn’t have a Nolan and Lilly to love.” When we got to my grandmother’s facility, Nolan was actually the one who ran right in, shoved a valentine into an unsuspecting old lady’s hand, and yelled HAPPY VARATIME DAY!!!!!!!!!!! (We are still working on the “inside voice”). After the initial shock wore off, the kids were swarmed by adoring old people. Success! I just kicked back and enjoyed a cup of coffee. Ok, actually I then chased them through the halls as they yelled “BIRD! BIRD!” and searched for the parrot that actually lives in a cage right by the front door. A few staff people may have muttered something like “does anybody watch these kids?” Whatever. We were do-gooding. Better stand back!
Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all!
Thinkin’ on it
Yikes! How is it already Wednesday and I missed a week of blogging? We’ve been working on our little giving projects, but I’ll admit that I’ve been doing more thinking than doing. Amazingly, we’ve made it to church every Sunday for the past few weeks, and there’s nothing like church to get ya thinkin’. One of the readings in this week’s service had a line that especially hit home with me… it was about fighting feelings of futility and hopelessness. The sermon was about the recent death in Uganda of a gay rights activist , and about the shootings in Tuscon, about whether our collective dialogue on these issues actually means anything. The overall message was that we’re all in this messy, f-ed up world together and whatever we do (and say) does in fact mean something. I want to believe that… but holding onto that belief day in and day out is a struggle for me. So, all this has me wondering about how to help my children when they feel like it’s all for naught. And I absolutely have no answers for that. But I’m thinkin’ on it.
Anyway, on to the week’s project, we found one of those cards in the mail announcing a porch pick-up date for Operation Kindness. I’ve always been a sucker for no-kill animal shelters, so it made our short list. We began sifting through our things to find toys and clothes that we no longer need. The kids had more focus for sorting through their toys than I expected. Not surprisingly, when I held up a toy and said, “Keep or give?” Lilly yelled “GIVE!” almost 100% a little more often than Nolan. But my baby boy was willing to part with more than just the broken stuff. He even contributed a super annoying, loud toy truck. Score one for Mama! I should go ahead and confess that this little act of giving coincided with a major need to clear out clutter. But it’s okay for benevolence to be a win/win, right? Otherwise, how would we have charity balls? How would we raise money for the needy without a bunch of people who want an express ticket to heaven? The kids have no problem with making fun out of giving. They were too busy jumping on the bed to even pose with their collection…
Also last week, I attended the training session for the Adopt a Grandmother program. Luckily, the trainer doesn’t have children, so she didn’t seem aware of the havoc we will likely bring to some unsuspecting senior. I made sure to tell her that we don’t mind someone who’s blind and deaf. Crossing my fingers …
I lost them at “auction”
Ok, so it’s Sunday night. We just finished this week’s project, but it’s still technically Week 3. Right? Right? Whew! Our little act of giving this week was not all that involved. In fact, I don’t think it really stuck with the kids much at all. But this was our second week in a row without Daddy, and there’s only so much a single mom can do. Er, what’s that? “Real” single moms work AND do everything at home? AND still manage to give back? Sorry, I can’t hear you. Must be my dang iPhone 4.
In keeping with my love of serendipity, I decided to do the project that fell into our laps this week. I got an email from the neighborhood Early Childhood PTA group seeking donations for a silent auction book basket. Proceeds to benefit the local elementary school. (Some 60 percent of the kids in that school are classified as “low-income,” so it’s not like we are donating to Jerry Jones’ grandkids.) So, a worthy cause – check! I immediately agreed to participate. Then I started trying to explain this one to the kids. Not as simple as “do you want to help someone stay warm?” Turns out, I lost them at “auction.” Eventually, I cut it down to “Let’s give books to some kids who don’t have books.” Not exactly correct since the basket will be auctioned off to some family that is probably literate. But they’re 2. And I’d already lost them. Until I explained that we could make a card to go with our books. Using paints.
Which was all good until…
That was way earlier in the week. We finally dropped off the books and cards today. However, important lessons were learned this week:
— Concrete concepts work better with toddlers
— Mama is tired when Daddy lives in another state
— Don’t try painting on a day with only a short car nap
— And, hey, we can make a snazzy little card!
theyearofgiving 
